Tag Archives: personal misconduct

They expected what?!

The headline of the Hamilton Spectator this past Tuesday just about leaped off the page at me: Hamilton family left corpse upstairs for six months expecting resurrection. (http://www.thespec.com/news-story/5165939-hamilton-family-left-corpse-upstairs-for-six-months-expecting-resurrection/)

empty coffinReally?! If I wasn’t awake before I read that, I sure was now.

Why would they expect the corpse of their dead relative to be able to come back to life?  The article begins:

Peter Wald’s family truly believed he would rise from the dead. They believed it because they had prayed for it, every single day, while his corpse lay rotting for six months in an upstairs bedroom of their Hamilton home.

Wald’s widow said their expectation was based on their faith. She had placed his body in a bedroom and sealed the door as well as any vents, hoping to keep the odour in. She and the family fervently prayed for six months. When they defaulted on their mortgage an eviction notice brought the sheriff to their door. This led to the discovery of the body and a court case.

Mrs. Wald said their faith was still strong, as witnessed in them packing his clothes when they were evicted, just in case the resurrection was yet to come.

The judge did not take issue with their faith, only with the health and well-being of the family. They were free to expect a resurrection. They were not free to keep a corpse on the premises.

Why did they expect this? Mrs. Wald says she still believes strongly in resurrection, and says there have been many “documented” cases of it around the world. Her faith was not shaken by the legal consequences of her actions. We saw in our last post that we expect things for one of three reasons: our past experience, our desire for it to happen, or the authority of others. This case probably rests on the second and third reason. Her belief that resurrections happened in the Bible, and supposedly some modern occurrences, led to the application to her own situations.

Was Mrs. Wald’s expectation one with a firm basis? Why or why not? Based on what we have been looking at, how would you have counseled her to manage that expectation?

© Brian F. Reynolds BFRspace 2014

Expect cover 111

“What do you expect? The question you need to ask!” is now available in paperback for $20 (Can) from Scarlet Cord Press.

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Filed under General Interest, Home and Family, Religion and Spirituality

Why do we need a process to handle expectations?

This past week Liberal leader Justin Trudeau suspended two MP’s from his party’s caucus as a result of accusations from two NDP members. The result has been a war of words between Trudeau and NDP leader Thomas Mulcair over how this affair is being handled. In the Globe and Mail article, Trudeau suspends two MPs over ‘personal misconduct’ allegations, the reporters write:

How the investigation will proceed is unclear. Ms. Foote sent the case to House of Commons Speaker Andrew Scheer because she wanted a neutral third party to look into it and because Parliament has no rules for dealing with accusations from one MP against another. (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/liberals-suspend-two-mps-over-personal-misconduct-allegations/article21453310/)

This is an admission that no process exists for dealing with the current situation.

Now, to some, process is a dirty word. I have faced many in my years of work and ministry who objected to following a process. At a meeting meant to bring about reconciliation one person argued, “Process shmocess, what about relationships?” I do not disagree over the need to honour relationships; that was the very purpose of the meeting. But at the expense of following process? Is that helpful?

You see, process is everywhere. It’s really just a word we use for getting things done in an orderly and effective way. We use process every day in our cooking, our banking, our hospitals, our courts, our sports, our schools, our businesses, our traffic, and so on. It is not a matter of needing a process, it is a matter of understanding the process and agreeing on the process we will use.

So, when I am asked why we need a process to handle our expectations, I’m happy to point out you probably use one already, but do not realize it. Problems arise when we don’t know our process. We tend to circumvent it, taking short-cuts, or missing steps that could help us or others. By not having an agreed upon process for dealing with the accusations on Parliament Hill, both parties are claiming a moral imperative and saying they have acted correctly. Unfortunately, it is a stalemate. Why? Because there is no agreed upon process by which to judge their actions.

In my book, What do you expect?, I give this simple process for handling expectations:

WDYE-process-diagram 1

Using this process has helped many clarify their expectations and manage them in ways they had not previously been able to achieve. In my next four posts we will look at each of these four steps in the process.

Follow along and try this process.  It may help you manage your expectations as well.

© Brian F. Reynolds BFRspace 2014

Expect cover 111

“What do you expect? The question you need to ask!” is now available in paperback for $20 (Can) from Scarlet Cord Press.

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Filed under General Interest